I Am… What I Am.
Tonight, I sacrificed watching the American Idol results show and went to yoga class instead.
I needed it.
There’s the stupid work drama. And even though I want to quit worrying about it, I’m ashamed to admit that it still bugs me.
And then there’s me filling up my calendar like I have all the time in the world. Yeah yeah yeah, it’s my own damn fault. Somehow I’ve managed to make it so I have even less time for myself, which has resulted in my To Do List growing exponentially. The Type A side of me can’t stand feeling out of control.
Lately I’ve felt flustered & imbalanced. And I’ve found the negative side of me appear more often… old insecurities have resurfaced…. I’ve just been… off.
And then I walk into yoga class and it was exactly what I needed. My teacher began the class:
“Today we’re going to focus on Letting Go. We get too goddamn sentimental and hang on to things, we just need to Let It Go.”
How does she always manage to read my mind?
Work drama. Insecurities. Stress. The Small Stuff. I breathed it out.
Our 10-minute mantra was: “I Am… What I Am.”
I Am Busy. I Am Stressed Out. I Am Flustered. I Am Insecure. I Am Irritable. I Am Tired.
But that’s OK. I love and accept myself for everything that I Am. And I am working through my weaknesses, slowly but surely.
I forget to make time for myself… to breathe, to meditate.
Tonight, I decided to attend class regularly again. It’s what I need to stay sane, to stay balanced.
Yes. Tonight’s class was well worth the “sacrifice.”
[For those of you who know me well, no, I did not wait until tomorrow to find out who got kicked off on americanidol.com. I called my cousins in Chitown before class to get the scoop on this week’s losers. Yep, I’m a loser.]
March 10th, 2006 at 3:14 pm
I’m sorry to admit it, but I was happy for your call b4 ur yoga class. Secretly, I was curious who else was getting the boot. Shh, but don’t tell anyone.